Sunday, September 26, 2010

I sure am missing my Daddy-pa.....




It's took me a while to do this blog entry....mainly because I cry a lot, and it makes me sad to think my life without my grandpa.....I am very grateful that Scott and I were able to make it down to visit him a lot, it makes me happy to know that I was able to spend time with him.  I saw the happiness that came across his face when he would see us, or anyone in the family, and that made me smile.   I tried my best to let him know he was always in my thoughts....I sent him a card, a few weeks before he passed, for grandparent's day, and I made sure to put a lot of pictures in the card. They were from my wedding. I really wanted him to feel like he was there..... Sent him a nice plant too before that. The day he passed I had bought him another card to mail.....but I wasn't able to mail it, which broke my heart.....

Everywhere I turn....something is reminding me of him, and the tears start, (like they are now, but I am finishing this entry!!) I will miss soooo many things...

I will miss the way he would laugh at me, simply because I had to kiss him about 50 times before I would leave from a visit....he would simply just give me a grin, and a look like I was crazy, but a good crazy, hehe.....

I will miss the boat rides he used to take us on, he loved the water.....

I will remember how when I was younger I used to scoot the corn from my dinner plate onto my fork, so I was able to get it all in my mouth, and how Daddy-pa would say "I am gonna cut those fingers off if you keep doing that" and how I really thought I was going to be going home with no fingers, LOL...

I will remember how he was able to sleep through ANYTHING (in his chair ofcourse) or how he was always on the back porch drinking MGD. Just sitting outside, enjoying the beauty of life...

I will remember him taking me to shoot my first gun, at the wildlife club he was president of at one time....

I will remember how he always had a container full of nutter butters or oreos, and how we always would ask him if we could have some....

I will remember how we would beg to sleep in the basement, on a mattress in the closet under the stairs, don't ask me why....but we loved it.....now though, I would be terrified....

I will remember how Roxy always gave him a good smile, and she loved him, and the way he would feed her at every meal time....

I will remember how I told Daddy-pa I was making a scrapbook and needed some pictures, and how I made copies, and actually surprised him with a collage of pictures of Mommy-pa and him after she had passed, and I will never forget his face looking at me, he was a tough grandpa but I could tell how happy and touched he was to get it.....

I will remember LAKEFEST every summer, and how we would always walk around Clarksville to all the booths, and then see fireworks that night.....will never forget those memories....

The only thing that brings me peace now is that he gets to be with my Mommy-pa again, and I think he really wanted that.  I am blessed that if he had to leave, God took him when he did. In his age, his dementia had been getting worse, and I think God took him from us before it got too bad for him. It broke my heart that I couldn't live closer, but I was thankful that my parents were close.

I always felt close to my grandfather, after my grandma died, I made it a point to try to visit, try to send lots of cards, and call....just to let him know I always thinking of him....
and I always will be...

3 comments:

  1. aw sara! this post is so thoughtful and sweet and one that i can identify with. My grandpa is suffering from terminal cancer (mesothelioma a cancer caused by asbestos) and we will lose him soon. It is so so hard. Especially when the person you lose is your hero. I am glad I have met you-now I have somebody to talk to when the day comes. (if you are so willing.)

    smiles,
    gina
    http://hiyaluv.blogspot.com
    ps-would love to see your photos:)

    ReplyDelete
  2. sara,
    I just left you a long comment but i got a failure notice. let me know if this works and i will resend the other. :)gina
    http://hiyaluv.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sweet Sara... he would be so pleased to read this words. I am sorry for your loss.

    ReplyDelete