“Come on Sara, pull yourself together” (self talk….it helps)

I have to say, these last few weeks, I have been pretty disappointed in myself. After the wedding, I kind of let loose on the weight watchers diet.  I had worked soooooo hard for the past year on it, met my goal, but now, I have tried to start the diet back at 3 different times, and each time I have managed to revert back mid week to my unhealthy eating habits, the calorie filled krispy kreme to the right, the ice cream bowl to the left…and I really need to stop it. Why can’t I get my motivation back?? How can I get it back? You know, every time I eat something bad for me, I feel so guilty now…never used to feel that way.  Now I think back to the quote “Eating skinny never tasted so good” and now I understand it a little better….once you get that goal you wanted, the accomplishment almost gives you that much more motivation not to revert back…..I just need a little bit more motivation that normal…..Maybe I need to start going to the WW Meetings I never went to, or maybe I should get back to my running….Man, I just need to get back into things…and now, like tomorrow.

And you know what else….The last time I saw my “Daddy-pa” before he passed he said that I had lost so much weight and he was really proud of me and what I had done for myself…..and that means more to me now than ever, that he noticed how hard I had tried, and what I had put into everything, and I am glad he got to see that before he left us….I am glad he was able to know what I had done for myself, that I was able to reach my goal and that I was able to get married to a wonderful guy that he “liked” more than the others (hehe).   That is almost a new motivation, to keep him that proud; he will just be looking down on me now, that’s all….